Tears, Trials, and the Touch of Grace: My Journey to the Feet of the Guru

A Personal Reflection by Tapasvi D.V.L.N. Narsimha Murthy

Devotee praying in front of Mother Renuka

Introduction: The Search That Every Soul Carries

Every sincere seeker, at some point in life, looks to the skies and asks — Where is my Guru? When will I find the one who truly knows the way?

Some find the path early. Others walk through years — even decades — of sincere effort, personal struggle, and silent prayer before their destined Guide arrives. This is the story of one such seeker — D.V.L. Narsimha Murthy, a man who walked through storms, survived losses, endured physical affliction, but never let go of that one flame in his heart: the longing for a living Guru.

This is not just a personal testimony. It is a call to all seekers: do not give up — Grace is real, and the Guru comes when the time is ripe.

A Seeker’s Early Spark

My name is D.V.L.N. Narsimha Murthy, born and raised in Mogaltur, a quiet town in West Godavari district, Andhra Pradesh. Today, at the age of 57, I live in Hyderabad — but my spiritual journey began many years ago.

The seed was first sown in 1989, during my second year of engineering. Inspired by my paternal uncle, I took my first steps into spiritual practice through Transcendental Meditation (TM). I was initiated in Vijayawada, and after completing my studies, I continued my journey in Hyderabad, where I also enrolled in the Siddhi Program, an advanced module in TM. After losing contact with my TM Guru, my progress came to a standstill — for without the guiding hand of a teacher, the path felt directionless.

Throughout those years, Divine Providence allowed me to encounter several great spiritual personalities:

• I was blessed to interact and witness Swami Chinmayananda’s yajnas,

• Regularly attended Ramakrishna Mission in Hyderabad during Swami Ranganathananda’s tenure,

• And had the darshan of the Paramacharya of Kanchi.

Each of these experiences gently pulled me deeper into the path of inner life.

Years of Seeking and Spiritual Practice

In 1999, I moved to Visakhapatnam due to my job. In 2002, a friend introduced me to the Yogoda Satsanga Society (YSS) centre there, opening my heart to the Yoga Mārga taught by Paramahamsa Yogananda.

During those years, I also:

• interacted with Swami Amruthananda of RK Mission, Vizag.

• received the darshan of Barphani Baba, a Himalayan yogi.

• and eventually became a member of YSS, continuing my dedicated sādhanā.

Later in 2007, I moved back to Hyderabad and longed to receive Kriyā Dīkṣā. But life had other plans, and due to personal obstacles, I had to wait. Finally, in 2011, I received the long-awaited initiation into Kriyā Yoga and began progressing steadily.

The Turning Point of Pain and Prayer

But as life often tests the resolve of those who seek, in 2012, a devastating tragedy struck — a major road accident took away several members of my family in a single moment.

The grief was overwhelming. The aftershock of loss brought with it deep emotional and practical challenges. Sādhana became irregular. But inwardly, I kept praying — not just for relief, but for something more:

“O Divine Mother, please grant me a Guru in physical form, a living embodiment of Gurutattva who can guide me in this lifetime.”

This inner prayer, though unanswered for years, never left me.

Then, in August 2021, another blow struck: a personal injury — a condition bordering on semi-paralysis — rendered my left hand non-functional. Even sitting for basic sādhanā became impossible. For two and a half years, I battled this affliction, leaning only on prayer and hope.

I had no clarity about the future. But I held on to that silent plea:

“Please send me my Guru.”

In my long quest for a true Guru from 1989 till 2024, I had the opportunity to meet many spiritual teachers. I interacted with them, listened to their teachings, and even spent time in their presence — yet, my inner conscience never allowed me to fully accept any of them as my Guru.

There was always some subtle doubt, a quiet hesitation in the heart. Some spoke with grandeur, but their words felt exaggerated. Some preached high truths, but did not seem to live them. Some were deeply absorbed in scriptural knowledge, but lacked the warmth of realization. Some were entangled in desires for recognition, influence, or subtle worldly attachments.

Perhaps, I now feel, the Divine Mother herself led me through all these encounters — not as a punishment, but as a revelation. To show me what the world of spirituality often holds. To prepare me for the moment of truth.

Or perhaps, it was my own soul’s destiny — to wander and seek, until it found the place where the heart bows on its own, without coercion, without doubt.

Just as the scriptures promise — when one meets their true Guru, there is no confusion, no conflict. The mind may remain quiet, but the heart instantly recognizes the Master — and surrenders in silent joy, as if it has finally come home.

The Answered Prayer: Meeting the Living Flame

Then came the divine turning point.

In February 2024, by the Grace of the Divine Mother, I came across the Mahāvidyādi Sūtravali of Sri Ganapati Muni. It captivated my soul. My mind began to search for more, and while exploring the topic of the Daśa Mahāvidyās online, I was led — by no coincidence — to a YouTube video of Śrī Surya Phani Madhav Guruji, explaining Prachanda Chāṇḍikā Mahāvidyā.

The moment I saw and heard Him, I knew:

This is not an ordinary teacher. This is the one I have been praying for.

I immediately contacted Jyothi Garu and Jayaprakash Garu whose numbers I found on the website, and messaged Guruji requesting darśan. He kindly responded that he would call when in Hyderabad.

A student being blessed and accepted by Guruji

And then, on 31st March 2024, came the call. On April 2nd, I met Guruji in person at his home.

The moment I saw Him, I was overwhelmed. He was radiant — a Tejorūpa, the embodiment of the very Gurutattva I had yearned for, for all these years.

Guruji received me with such warmth and grace, giving me precious time to speak — to share my life, my struggles, my story. I poured out everything — my battles, the devastating loss of beloved family members, my long health affliction. My voice broke as I confessed, with tears in my eyes:

“Guruji, I am worried that this life will go wasted if I do not attain a higher state before the departure of this mortal frame.”

Guruji listened — not just to my words, but to the silent cry of my soul. I noticed tears in His eyes as well.

“I’m sorry to trouble you like this,” I said, feeling overwhelmed by emotion.

Guruji, with gentle compassion, replied:

“It is not trouble at all.”

Then — in a gesture that I will carry in my heart forever — He suddenly rose from His seat, placed His thumb on my Ājñā Chakra and another finger on my Sahasrāra Chakra, and infused me with divine currents of energy.

In that moment, I felt a tremendous surge of spiritual energy coursing through my being — as though the channels of my life were suddenly realigned and awakened.

Guruji looked at me and assured me:

“Do not worry about what has happened all this while in your life. Whatever has happened was meant to happen. You stood firm through it all — by the grace of the Divine Mother.”

I then shared with Him that I had been regularly chanting the Vīraṇ Mahāmantra of Śrī Ganapati Muni, which I had learned from one of Guruji’s videos, and asked if I should continue.

Guruji gently corrected my swara's and encouraged me wholeheartedly:

“Yes, continue the same. But follow my instructions precisely — the very same mantra will help you overcome financial hardships and bring progress in your sādhana.”

During that sacred interaction, Guruji also lovingly clarified another long-standing doubt that had remained in my heart. In one of his YouTube discourses, I had heard Him mention that “Ellamma,” “Ellaramma, etc.,” are all forms of the Divine Mother Renuka. Though I found solace in those words, I yearned to ask Him directly.

So, I gathered the courage and said,

“Guruji, in our family, ‘Ellaramma’ is our kula daivam — but someone told me she is not Mother Renuka. Is that true?”

Guruji, with calm assurance, replied,

“She is definitely Divine Mother Renuka. There is no doubt. She has been protecting you all along.”

He looked deeply into my being and said with great emphasis:

“Never stop worshipping Her. Continue praying to Mother Renuka and chant the sacred ‘Renuka Gītam’ every single day.”

I bowed in gratitude and followed his instruction sincerely.

And to my amazement, within just a few days, I began noticing profound changes —

• My health began improving,

• My financial situation started stabilizing and

• My sādhanā blossomed into a state of blissful depth.

It became clear to me — it was the grace of Mother Renuka, now awakened more fully through Guruji’s blessings, that was flowing through every area of my life.

From that sacred moment of initiation onward, I knew with certainty — I had found my Guru, and my soul had found its path.

Transformation at Tapovanam

I began participating in Indra Yajñas held in Hyderabad. A gradual but undeniable transformation began — my health improved, my mind quietened, and a deep inner peace was restored.

Twice I planned to visit Vasishta Vedic Tapovanam, but somehow obstacles arose each time. Later, I came to know through fellow disciples that Guruji’s personal permission is needed to visit Tapovanam.

And then — again, by divine timing — Guruji Himself called and invited me to visit Tapovanam for Gurupūrṇimā.

Though I hadn’t travelled long distances for years, I boarded a bus with determination. And through Guruji’s grace, my health remained perfectly fine throughout the journey.

I went to Tapovanam with only one desire: to serve Guruji.

And by Divine Grace, that desire was fulfilled.

I had the privilege of offering Guru-sevā to my heart’s content. I participated in the Indra Yajña in the most powerful and serene atmosphere of Tapovanam — and on that blessed Gurupūrṇimā day, something within me shifted.

There was a deep inner elevation — an awakening of continuous inner consciousness. I knew that I had arrived at the feet of my Guru.

The Stream of Knowledge Flows

Today, I attend Guruji’s satsangs regularly. His words often answer questions I’ve never even asked aloud.

Sometimes, as I listen, I feel:

These words are not just teachings — they are coming directly from the Source of Knowledge.

I look back and see a lifetime of seeking, struggle, and waiting. And now I know — every step, every test, every prayer — was leading me here.

Conclusion: Grace Arrives When the Heart is Ready

My journey is a testament to one eternal truth:

The Guru comes when the heart is ripened and the longing is pure.

In every difficulty, I was unknowingly being prepared to receive that which is rare — the darśan, dīkṣā, and guidance of a living Master.

To every sincere seeker reading this, I say from my heart:

Never give up. Hold fast to your prayer. The hand of grace will lift you, and your Guru will find you when the time is right.

I bow in gratitude to the Divine Mother, who heard my prayer, and to Sri Surya Phani Madhav Guruji, who is now the guiding light of my life.

Jai Sri Ganapati Muni.

Jai Guruji.