Destiny In Disguise : My Journey from Pain to Divine Awakening
- Jyoti Modekurti
- Oct 29
- 8 min read
How a Relentless Headache Led Me to Sri Phani Madhav Guruji and Sri Kavyakantha Vasishtha Ganapati Muni
The Beginning …
My divine journey with Kavyakantha Vasishtha Sri Ganapati Muni and Sri Phani Madhav Guruji began in the year 2022—a year etched in the stars, destined long before I was aware of its unfolding. The Universe, in its infinite wisdom, conspired to make this meeting happen through the most unexpected and painful instrument—a fateful, relentless headache that struck like a thunderbolt and forced me to abandon my beloved sadhana for six long months.
Jai Gurudev.
I am Jyoti Modekurti, originally from Hyderabad, Andhra Pradesh, India, and presently residing in Paris, France, with my husband since 2018.
My spiritual journey began from the very early years of my marriage. Both, my husband and I have been lucky enough to be blessed with divine, spiritual treasures in our lives through the boundless grace and guidance of a Divine Himalayan Master.
This write-up offers a gentle sneak peek into one of the most transformative and sacred moments of my spiritual journey, the divine turning point when destiny led me to another compassionate form - The loving presence of Guruji!
The Gift Of My First Master
Back in 2010, by the grace of the Divine Mother, I was blessed with a magnificent Sri Vidya Master, Dr. Avdhoot Shivanand—a being of immense wisdom and compassion who initiated me into the sacred mysteries of Sri Vidya Sadhana.
Through his infinite blessings, my spiritual life bloomed. My sadhana was filled with profound experiences and my heart brimmed with contentment.
My Master not only guided me through spiritual practices but also lovingly shaped my way of living — teaching me how to walk righteously through every joy and trial, and instilling in me the values and wisdom for daily life.
His presence was woven into every breath I took; I found myself conversing with Him inwardly at every moment. He was, and remains, a priceless gift — His teachings, the eternal light that illumines my path.
He came into my life with a platter of divine abundance, leaving me with nothing more to seek. Even as I sailed across the turbulent oceans of existence, I was cradled securely upon His Divine Lap — protected, guided, and cared for at all times.
As I write these words, my heart overflows with boundless gratitude to Him.
The Dawning Of The Fateful Day…
As always, I was immersed in the glories of my meditations and Supreme Initiation that I received from my Master until one day, when an unfathomable pain struck—a hammering, relentless headache that returned every time I sat for meditation. What began as a momentary ache soon turned into a monstrous presence that silenced my spiritual practice for six long months.
Every time I attempted to meditate, the pain returned—unyielding, lingering, punishing, and merciless! Even the gentlest touch of devotional emotion, even a soulful melody, would awaken it. The pain was so excruciating that it clouded my thoughts, made me weak and I felt being fallen into an abyss. I tried finding treatment and solutions of all kinds but nothing worked. I tried to reach my Master through all sources I knew, but all went in vain.
When nothing showed up, I convinced myself that my spiritual journey has ended.
With no signs of guidance, my heart felt helpless and I surrendered to silence, crying and whispering only one prayer into the void:
“Divine Mother, if it be Your will, show me the way.”
The Universe Sends a Messenger
One day, when my hope was dim and my faith fragile, a co-seeker, a beloved fellow disciple of my Master, sent me a Zoom link to a satsang.
She insisted I attend—“at any cost,” she said.
I resisted. I feared the pain. But her persistence was unyielding, and so, reluctantly, I tuned in.
That evening, the Universe shifted.
The satsang was hosted by Sri Phani Madhav Guruji, who spoke with serene authority, radiating the wisdom of a lineage ancient and luminous. He uttered the name “Kavyakantha Vasishtha Sri Ganapati Muni” again and again—a name I had never heard before, yet it stirred something deep within me.
Guruji’s words were arrows of light carrying truth and un-defying intent, piercing straight into my heart. I was in extreme awe and my ears and heart kept glued to every word that he spelt that day. Although, it was the first time I was hearing him, but something within me said, “Oh , I know him!!”
Probably because his teachings echoed the same truth my Sri Vidya Master had once revealed to me. The resonance was unmistakable.
I immediately shared the session with my husband, who also felt an instant pull toward Guruji’s wisdom.
Both of us had walked the same Sri Vidya path since 2010, and now, unknowingly, we were standing at the threshold of a new spiritual dawn. My husband connected with Guruji soon after and received an initiation from him. His inquisitive nature met Guruji’s effortless clarity, each of his questions met with answers that shone like pure light.
A Divine and Overpowering Experience
The next day, my co-seeker friend sent me a Telugu video of Guruji, a discourse on Tara Mahavidya. Being brought up in Orissa, my Telugu was not great and I had a feeble inclination to watch a video in a language I could not fully comprehend. Yet, that day, for reasons I still cannot explain, I opened it—perhaps guided by an unseen hand.
I expected to watch it for a few seconds before closing it. But the moment Guruji appeared on the screen, speaking about Devi Tara, something unimaginable happened.
In an instant, I was pulled into a deep, uncontrollable trance. My eyes could not hold his form for long; within moments, I saw not his physical presence, but a blazing white fire of pure energy emanating from him. My consciousness was drawn upward—swiftly, irresistibly—toward the Sahasrara Chakra. My head fell backward; a mighty force was lifting me higher and higher.
The same pain that had haunted me for months stood like a barricade, yet the divine current was way more stronger—it tore through the block and struck my crown.
I was gone.
I neither saw nor heard anything after that. The world dissolved into radiant stillness. I slipped into a deep trance. I had many divine experiences with my Master but that day, this experience was new and way different from all my past experiences.
To experience such an exalted state merely by seeing someone was no ordinary occurrence — it felt as though the Divine Truth itself was calling me Home. Without uttering a single word, so much was spoken and in that silent communion, I felt that, which I had been seeking for ages had finally found its way to me!
Countless questions arose within, yet, as if by grace, my soul received their answers effortlessly. There was so much unfolding happening inside — waves of wonder, peace, and revelation — and yet, from the outside, all was still.
Even amidst that sacred stillness, I marveled at what this could be...
A mystical spell?
An angel’s blessing?
Or perhaps… an earnest prayer, finally answered?
Whatever it was, it gently affirmed a higher purpose, a deeper connection, and the promise of inner transformation.
An hour, effortlessly passed!
I finally returned to ordinary awareness but then the pounding headache came crashing back, more ferocious than ever, this time. For twelve relentless hours, I lay in agony, weeping in helplessness, wondering if there was any escape from this cruel cycle of bliss and torment.
The intoxicating energy upsurge can be felt even now as I recollect this experience.
The Miracle Unfolds — Healing Through the Guru’s Gaze
Three months passed.
It was in June 2022. My husband and I were in Paris when this happened.
One day, while my husband was conversing with Guruji over the phone, he mentioned to him about my persistent headache. Guruji, who was traveling then, stopped his car to avoid signal disturbances and heard everything that my husband told him. He then, calmly asked him to put me on the phone to speak. My husband handed over his phone to me and then, I spoke to Guruji. This was my first conversation with him.
Guruji listened to my problem very intently and asked me a few questions about my sadhana practice. He asked me for a video call then, which I followed. While on the video, Guruji took a close look at my forehead, his gaze was penetrating yet compassionate. He observed my forehead for sometime and said with serene certainty,
“I have given you something.”
I did not comprehend what he meant, but his words carried the weight of truth.
He then added softly,
“Do not worry. It will be fine.”
Guruji gave me a few simple instructions to follow before meditation and asked me to begin my practice that very evening. I was hesitant, yet his words echoed within me.
That night, with trembling faith, I sat to meditate.
And then—the impossible happened.
The moment I entered meditation, a profound stillness enveloped me. A wave of divine energy descended, dissolving every trace of pain. My body was light, my mind empty, and my heart overflowing with peace.
The headache that had haunted me for months, the pain I had convinced myself to live with, the rest of my life and given up hope, actually vanished!
I was literally searching for it and waiting for it, thinking now it will come or maybe if I go a bit deeper, it will come. But to my greatest surprise, it was gone. Forever!
That day I understood through my personal experience how a Guru’s nectar-like looks can heal everyone around him. No medicine, no words but a mere loving gaze!!!
Tears of gratitude streamed down my face and also, a smile of relief adorned my lips. I folded my hands in silent reverence and whispered a prayer for Guruji and his family.
The next morning, when I expressed my gratitude to him, he simply smiled and said,
“Thank the Divine Mother.”
And thus began my sacred journey with Sri Phani Madhav Guruji, the living embodiment of compassion and grace.
The Wisdom of Sri Ganapati Muni — Flames of Truth
Under Guruji’s guidance, I was introduced to the luminous world of Sri Ganapati Muni—a seer whose Vedic insight burns with purity and power.
His teachings on truthfulness, integrity, purity, authenticity and his deep seated patriotism towards India had a profound influence on me.
Each verse, each word, felt like a mirror reflecting my own soul, granting me revelations about creation, birth, and the purpose of existence.
And in that light, I finally understood—
That fateful headache was no curse. It was the Divine’s secret knock, urging me toward a destined encounter.
The Divine Recognition — The Presence of Lord Shiva
Since childhood, I have been enchanted by the tales of Lord Shiva—His silence, His cosmic dance, His fierce compassion, His boundless love for Devi Parvati.
And during that miraculous moment when the Divine Energy surged through me while watching Guruji’s video, I knew—without words or proof—that it was Shiva Himself who had touched me.
No one had to tell me; my soul recognized Him. The Light, the Force, the Stillness—it was Him!
It felt as if my being had rediscovered something ancient, something it had known and waited for, across lifetimes!
Epilogue — The Divine Plan Revealed
Looking back, I see clearly now - the entire episode was a Universal orchestration. The agonizing headache, the despair, the longing, the meeting - all were divinely designed to bring me to Guruji and through him to Sri Ganapati Muni.
That one episode—wrapped in pain, crowned in revelation—became the most transformative moment of my life - A moment my soul will ever remain grateful to…
It was the Divine’s way of saying:
“Your suffering was the bridge. Cross it, and you shall find Me.”
Through the compassionate guidance of Sri Phani Madhav Guruji and the timeless wisdom of Sri Ganapati Muni, my spiritual journey found new wings.
This was not the end—it was the beginning of a new dawn.
A journey that continues to reveal the infinite depths of Truth, guided by Grace and guarded by Love.
Stay Tuned...
In my next reflection, I shall share the inner unfoldment—the understandings, revelations, and sacred experiences that blossomed during these three luminous years under the divine guidance of Guruji and Sri Ganapati Muni’s teachings.
It's amazing Jyothi. I am traveling along with you since so many years. Your yearning for something, finally found you. Love you my Guru Behan. My lovely Jyothi.